The clothes dilemma

See, the thing that happens when you lose weight is that your clothes stop fitting. The ones that have fitted for ages. And yes, it's a matter for celebration, that commitment to changed food habits is having the desired result, in terms of insulin preservation.

But it's a nuisance, in some ways, too. Because yes, OK, you can throw out some clothes (worn out for rags, others to charity collection) but what size do you buy next? Because if you keep going, then then the ones you buy won't fit indefinitely either.

But it's also odd to put on something that used to fit, and feel it swim on you. It's like putting on an old skin for a body you don't have any more.

I've been overweight for so long, I'm not used to this sensation at all (and I'm still a long way from normal weight range).

For right now, there are a bunch of things in my wardrobe that will be going when summer is properly here, because by next winter, if things go all right (not saying all the weight will be gone, but more of it should be), nothing from this winter is going to even vaguely fit. It will all be superfluous. Some things will go sooner - I try them on, and they swim and are ridiculous, so I take them off and consign them for reuse, out of the house and out of my life.

You get the odd pang, though. The midnight blue panne velvet dress with the beading I put around the neckline. I wore that to lots of places, and loved its texture and flow. I always felt good in it. That one was a bit harder to put in the charity bag. Maybe I"ll take a photograph first, then consign it.

I have got a few things at the back of the wardrobe that fit now where they didn't before - not a lot, because my weight hasn't been especially variable for a long time. So I haven't got 'fat clothes' and 'thin clothes', just the fat ones, mostly. I've decided elastic waists make sense (and make things last for a while). But mostly, clothes will be bare basics while I travel through the sizes. Enough for work and to get by.

This evening it was late night shopping, and I spent a little bit of time browsing for clothes. Not buying. Not yet. But browsing the sort of shops I've not been able to buy at for years, the ones with clothes size 18 and UNDER (not OVER). Wow. The breadth of choice is immensely larger than for larger sizes. I won't know what to do with myself.

For now, I'm sitting here in jeans that are loose where they used to be snug, a shirt that can only be worn under something else that hides its ridiculous largeness, and a pretty pink cardigan that's loose where it used to fit. This is the last winter ever that I'll wear them.